My Heart Is Dead :'(

What started off as juz a simple casual question irritated him...n he said he can hang out n party with me but nothing beyond n told me not to ask or compare with his other gal! :'( so i'm not fit to be compared with her...perhaps i'm only a trash from the roadside to him...perhaps even the tramp from the roadside gets better treatment from him?! :'(

N he started blasting off at me again...abt how i'm bad for his well-being n told me to stop smsing him...n how he has enough of all this bullshit...n he cannot stand me! :'( he juz cant dis-associate me from party gal...i tried calling him...but each time...he either refuse to pick up my call or hang up v.briefly :'( he refused to meet me...refused to talk to me... :'( he doesnt want to waste his sat nite on me! :'( it really hurts to read those hurtful smses from him...when he juz said tt he values our frenship juz last wk! :'(

Now he says tt i'm childish to want to compare with her...n tt she's nothing fantastic...i really dunno which line is the truth...perhaps he was trying to pacify me n what he said abt how he can hang out n party with me but nothing beyond n told me not to ask or compare with his other gal sounds more like what came from the bottom of his heart...cos seriously if he said tt she's nothing in his eyes despite spending so much time n effort on her...i muz be less than nothing to him!!! :'( she's obviously in a diff league...i'm supposed to be juz an annoying lowly insignificant leech in his eyes who is less than nothing!!! :'(

When i told him tt i know he doesnt give a shit abt me even if i were to disappear from the surface of the earth...juz like how i still keep all his smses when he always deletes all mine...he said "OK" to this!!! so i guess he prefers me dead so tt there wont b anymore leech to annoy him!!! :'(

He has no idea how hurt i feel...i cant stop crying... :'( it's pretty obvious tt he thinks tt i'm not good enough for him no matter how hard i try...i'm insecure abt my looks&brains&$&everything...i know there r other gals who would kill to be in my shoes...but y would they wanna to b me? he juz reminds me of my mum...i can never pls her no matter how well i do...obviously he only treats me as a trash from the roadside...tt i'm always not good enough for him no matter how hard i try... :'( juz bcos we met at a party...he still thinks tt i'm a party gal...he doesnt rem anything abt me except partying n brian...how i wish i met him at a library instead! som ppl choose to see the good in others...n there r som ppl who only focus on the worst in me!!! :'(

I told him tt life is sooooooo fleeting...everything is so transient...a few yrs ago i had this dream abt my deceased aunt, in which, she told me tt i wont live beyond age 49 n i wont get married...i have nothing n i dunno when i'll die...i juz hope to build relationships for a lifetime before i die...but ppl refused to let me do tt...

PLS KILL ME!!!

Juz when u r down on ur luck n when everyone hates u...i dropped my lousy samsung camera into the unagi sauce juz now n it's now damaged...everyone hates me! now i think i know y dogs love me...maybe cos i'm a bitch?! (guess tt's how he sees me now...or perhaps he sees me as a bitchy trash from the roadside tt he can trample on?!) :'(

He says he's not interested n asks me to leave him alone :'(
i feel like sleeping for the rest of my life... :'(

I was watching the 11pm show on Channel 8 again...the gal who has donated her cornea to the married man she loves bumped into him n yet refused to tell him tt she was in fact the one who has donated her cornea to him! would u call her silly or noble? would u do what she did for love?

"Love is like a shadow. You chase and try to catch it, it runs away from you. But when you walk away, it follows you."

"When you really matter to someone, that person will always make time for you. No excuses, no lies, and no broken promises."

"The worst feeling in the world is when you can't love anyone else, because your heart still belongs to the one who broke it."

"What you get is what you gave to others.
給別人的就是給自己的．" ~ Jeff

"真正愛你的人不會把「情愛」這兩個字整天掛在口上，也不會因為「愛情」這個「詞」而互相要求什麼，但彼此會為對方做一切自己能力所能辦得到的事。"

"我天不怕，地不怕，唯一怕的就是你入侵我的心，然後在裡面自由活動。"

"你若深愛一個人，就要學會阻止自己，不要把他當成全部，不要所有​的事都跟他講，不要所有的秘密都和他分享；你投入的多了，你就會​慢慢地忘記了自己，沒有自我的人，在愛情裏是找不到自己的位置的​，唯一的結局，愛情被你抓得越緊，卻逃得越遠，最終只能擊碎你的​夢幻，讓曾經的諾言，如飛花般吹散在風中。"

"人生最遺憾的，莫過於輕易地放棄了不該放棄的，固執地堅持了不該​堅持的。若愛，請深愛，若棄，請徹底，不要曖昧，傷人傷己。"

KILL ME!!!