Facebookless In China

Hi, i regret to inform that leechie will b in China n thus will b facebookless...haiz >.<"

"Often the difference between a successful person and a failure is not one has better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to bet on one's ideas, to take a calculated risk - and to act." ~ Maxwell Maltz (1899-1975)

Sg is the most unique place whereby they interview the losers first before the winners n give more tv time to the losers!!! Nvm, hammers rock!!! HUAT arh!!!

National Achievers' Congress 2012

Robert and Kim Kiyosaki were scheduled to speak at this year's National Achievers' Congress. Robert appeared alone on stage on the second day cos Kim slipped and hurt herself and was in the hospital. He spoke abt the ES/BI quadrants and how we shld focus on our assets instead of expenses. What struck me most was what he said abt the importance of staying hungry for success (pretty congruent with some other rich ppl). His reply when his frenz asked him why he wont stop working was he loves winning n beating them!

Learnt this: "Stop trying to fit in when u were born to stand out!"
Some pointers to keep in mind when building a brand:
What do u stand for?
What must u keep from the existing brand?
Who exactly r u talking to?
How must ppl feel abt it?
N in human stoopidity, we can see opportunity!!!
N when one of the NAC presenters mentioned abt making $$$ in ur pyjamas...the image of our dear Jonathan in his YouTube clips immediately came to my mind...lol...

N this was the first time that i didnt buy anything from the seminar...lol...in fact, i bought quite a few pairs of Pedro n Charles&Keith shoes from the expo sale n lotsa clothes from the flea mkt instead...i was surprised to learn that the Charles&Keith shoes from its signature range r made of leather...i have v.sensitive n thin skin on my feet so my badly-bruised feet need leather shoes...o.O

Something really funny from our dear Adrian:
"Tomorrow if you happen to be at the PC show...
(1) and you suddenly hear the announcement "Paging for ship captain.. ship captain please come to the customer service counter"... you know that's me. But of course you would be too busy trying to get the best deals, get the free gifts and fight the noise.
(2) Alternatively if you see the lady carrying the most amount of bags in her hands.. that would be Tono Leechie. lol
(3) If you hear someone respond to the page above saying "I am here to collect the free Mc Donalds Ice cream voucher", you can be sure that is Jonathan Tan Boon Shiong. lol
(4) When you hear someone comment "Each time I buy something, I will end up with blue-black goods". That would be A Kay Sin.
lol !"
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(http://sg.finance.yahoo.com/news/being-kiasu-singapore-strong-suit-035654477.html)

Being ‘kiasu’ is Singapore’s strong suit: Kiyosaki

Robert Kiyosaki, author of the best-selling financial self-help book "Rich Dad Poor Dad", said that being "kiasu" might be the reason why Singapore is so successful today.

In an interview with Yahoo! Singapore on Saturday, he contrasted this "scared to lose" mentality in Singapore with the mentality of other countries.
"That's really what Singapore's strong suit is — kiasu. It's in your blood. You know in Mexico, they don't have kiasu, they have Mañana, which is 'Do it tomorrow' and in Hawaii, they have 'Ain't no big thing' and they don't get anything done," he said.
Speaking at the National Achievers' Congress 2012 at the Singapore Expo, Kiyosak however, warned against complacency.
"Singapore is rich and happy at the moment and that's not good. America was like that at one point in time," he said.
When asked how to avoid getting complacent, the financial guru said, "That's why I think of myself as poor and I keep working. That's why I never think of myself as rich. I'm always in the process of getting richer."
Kiyosaki then went on to talk about how many people need a change of mindset from simply earning money to pay their bills to increasing their assets and cashflow.
"Focus on what you want to expand. If you focus on assets, your assets will expand. What people do, is they focus on expenses so expenses expand. It's like the law of psychology, you've got to change what you focus on."
At his two-hour seminar, where spoke before a thousand people, Kiyosaki also talked about the difficulty in getting really rich in Singapore as compared to America.
"The trouble with Singapore is it's a small country, limited land, five million people, smart and rich. That's a bad combination. That means in Singapore, you've gotta be really smart and really ambitious," he said.
The bright side, according to him, is that Singapore is great for business because of its "secure environment" and "secure infrastructure".
"If I were in Singapore, I would be in business, not real estate," he said. "Safety is a very important factor in money production. If you don't feel safe, you can't produce."
Commenting on the world's current economic situation, he concluded, "We have never been in this situation before. The world has never been in such a precarious situation. Anybody who says they know what's gonna happen is crazy cause at any moment, something can happen."

Katie Piper: I Asked Mum To Kill Me

Tears streamed down my face as i read this :'(

(http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/katie-piper-asked-mum-kill-013627576.html)

Guardian – Sat, Jun 2, 2012 02:36 BST

"In the 1980s, when her children were young, Diane Piper kept a diary of their progress. They were an ordinary family. The Pipers lived in a sleepy Hampshire village, where Diane was an infant-school teacher. Her husband, David, was a barber, and their children, Paul, Katie and Suzy, proceeded happily through karate and ballet lessons, kite flying and beach excursions. Katie was, by some measure, the loudest. "She was quite wilful, headstrong, very independent and made friends wherever she went," says Diane.

"You're being very diplomatic," says Katie, laughing.
The diary petered out, but four years ago she resurrected it, this time not for a happy reason. Diane was at the gym one day, when there was a call from David. They had to get to the Royal Free hospital in London, he said, because Katie had been the victim of a chemical attack. There was no other information, so they packed a bag and went. "We ran out of the house that night, not really knowing what we were going to," says Diane. Had someone thrown bleach at their daughter? Anthrax? Were terrorists involved?
The attack had, in fact, been planned by Katie's ex-boyfriend, and the substance thrown in her face was sulphuric acid. She had had to wait an hour in a cafe for an ambulance, screaming while the liquid burned down to the bone. When they first saw her in hospital, Diane, a quiet, unassuming woman, was stunned. "I think when you go into a state of shock, you go numb – I didn't cry." They were taken to the specialist burns unit, where, "They were treating her, trying to wash her face. There were people everywhere, tubes everywhere ... and we stood and looked, almost not believing it was Katie."
Disbelief is the natural reaction to the story, because of the severity of the attack and the extent of Katie's progress. When it happened, she was working as a model, trying to build a television career; while Diane knew her daughter was resilient, she worried about how she would cope. "Her whole career, her whole future, focused on her face, and that face was," her voice drops suddenly, "forever damaged. It's like a pianist losing their fingers, isn't it? You think, well, OK, she's still here, she's still alive, thank God – but you couldn't really see what was going to happen after she left hospital."
Katie describes the attack and its aftermath in her gripping memoir, Beautiful. She was in her early 20s, living in London, appearing on late-night TV shows – "working on the DIY channel," she says, "selling cordless kettles" – when she was contacted by a man called Danny Lynch on Facebook. They had 30 mutual friends on the website, so he seemed credible at first, and after he bombarded her with lovely messages she started to see him. He told her he was a martial arts enthusiast who owned property and was also studying computing.
Before long, she began to doubt his stories and had resolved to break up with him. Then he raped her. He threatened to harm her or her family if she told anyone. In the following days he continued to call and text constantly, until the moment he implored her to go outside, to an internet cafe, to pick up an email he had sent. An associate of his, Stefan Sylvestre, was waiting in the street and the acid he threw in her face led to the loss of her eyelids, most of her nose and part of one ear. Her face had to be cut away entirely, in the first of almost 100 operations.
Sitting on the sofa beside Diane, it's only Katie's slightly defensive posture – knees against her chest, arms wrapped around them – that betrays the impact of what happened four years ago. With her tumbling hair and towering heels, she is exceptionally glamorous and her career is thriving. She has a two-year deal to make programmes for Channel 4, writes a column for the weekly magazine Reveal, takes acting classes as a hobby and runs a major charity for fellow burns survivors. She has proved to be an excellent, articulate advocate for their cause.
As a result of TV appearances, including a documentary on her story, she often meets people who ask how she survived the assault, which was clearly intended to obliterate her. In response, she has written a guide for people in traumatic situations, Things Get Better. Katie finds it embarrassing when people praise her: "There was no way I could have gone home, lived on my own and got through it all. It was a group effort."
She and her mother talk every day, and their close relationship is obvious when they discuss the book at the start of our interview. Katie tells Diane, for the first time, that the book is dedicated to her and David. Diane silently rolls her eyes.
"Oh thanks!" says Katie.
Diane blinks with surprise.
"Oh, you mean really? Seriously? Oh right. I thought you'd have dedicated it to all the people who have helped you."
Katie hoots at her mother's modesty. "The first one was dedicated to my doctor and I thought the second one should be dedicated to you."
"Ah, how nice," says Diane, clearly still confused by the idea that she has done anything extraordinary.
Diane and David stayed at the hospital for seven weeks to be with Katie. The outlook was bleak. On a high dose of morphine in the days after the attack, Katie wrote a note to Diane asking her mother to kill her. She had to wear a mask made from skin from donor corpses for 10 days, before an operation in which the dermal substitute Matriderm was applied to her face, as a foundation for grafts from all over her body. Then she was put into an induced coma for 12 days (the pain would have been too extreme otherwise). There were times in hospital, says Katie, when her eyes were open, but she thought she was, "on a ship, or in a prison, in another country. All these weird hallucinations."
Diane started a diary of Katie's progress, and also took photographs. "I wanted to show her that this wasn't the end. This was just the beginning, and she would get better. And there was the proof."
She could tell her daugher: "There's the photo of you a month ago – and look at you now."
The pictures helped enormously, says Katie. She could look at them and think, oh, the redness has gone down. Oh, I can move my face more ... If I ever felt depressed when the treatment had finished, I could look at the photos and think, I've come so far."
The attack left Katie partially blind in one eye; Diane and David both offered to donate their eyes and skin, but were told it wasn't possible.
After Katie left hospital, and came back to the family home, she had to wear a plastic mask, and her sister Suzy offered to wear one too, in solidarity. Suzy also hid notes all over the house, telling Katie how much she loved her. Her brother Paul tracked down Pam Warren, who suffered severe burns in the Paddington rail disaster in 1999, and had also worn a plastic mask, arranging for her to visit them. She turned up with a friend, "We didn't know which one was her!" says Katie.
Diane nods: "That was a big boost for the whole family."
Diane and David had to massage Katie's skin four times daily, while struggling to keep her spirits up. She was terrified at first, fearful of being burned or attacked again, of going out in public. It was as if she was a child, needing to be reintroduced to the world.There were many times, says Diane, when she felt helpless. "If Katie's upset then I get upset – if she cries, I cry," she says.
"There were times when Katie would be feeling low, and she'd say, 'I hate my face'. You feel helpless as a parent because you can't fix it. But mostly she was very upbeat."
The treatment Katie's plastic surgeon, Dr Mohammad Jawad, performed was revolutionary; she was one of the first people in the world to have a full-face Matriderm treatment, which Jawad has since been able to perform on women in similar circumstances in Pakistan. But despite its success, she still needs more surgery. The scars on her neck have contracted, so it's hard to turn her head.
"If, in a few years, my eyelids contract, they'll turn inside out. I have to have nasal reconstruction, for the septum and nostrils, to help with breathing." Her throat was damaged in the attack, so "my oesophagus narrows with scar tissue, and I have to keep having that widened."
Lynch and Sylvestre were both given life sentences. How does Diane feel about them now? "Oh, I don't really think about that," she says, "because it's wasted energy, isn't it? What's done is done, we can't change that, but we can change the way we cope with it."
There was a time when Katie thought she would never have a normal, happy life again but she is dating now, and looking forward to one day having children. When she does, she says she'll try to live up to Diane's example. "My mum has come to every operation with me. She's waited for eight hours, in a side room, with no chair, for me to go into surgery. She's come to foreign countries with me to have treatment, and not been able to speak to anyone. I really hope I can be like her."
Diane's eyebrows jump. She looks as nonplussed as ever by the compliment."
• Things Get Better by Katie Piper is published by Quercus, £12.99. To order a copy for £10.39, including free UK p&p, go to guardian.co.uk/bookshop or call 0330 333 6846
guardian.co.uk © Guardian News and Media 2012

No U-Turn Syndrome (NUTS) By Sim Wong Hoo

"No U-Turn Syndrome (NUTS)
Chaotic Thoughts from the Old Millenium
by Sim Wong Hoo
Introduction:
Whats is NUTS? NUTS is when you want to do something and you seek approval of a higher authority. When there is no rule saying that you can do such a thing, then the standard answer is NO …
In the US, when there is no sign on the road, it means that you can make a U-turn. When the authority do not want people to make U-turns, they will put up signs to tell you not to make U-turns.

In Singapore, it is the reverse. When there is no sign on the road, you are not allowed to make U-turns. When the authority allow you to make U-turns, then they will put up signs to give you that right. The two different systems serve the same purpose – to better manage the traffic. They may look quite similar, just coming from different direction, but the social repercussion is significant.

In Singapore, the no U-turn without sign culture has permeated every level of our thinking and every segment of our life. This no U-turn has created a way of life that is based on rules. When there is a U-turn sign or when there is a rule, we can U-turn. When there is no sign, we cannot U-turn. When there is no rule, we cannot do anything. We become paralyzed. I call this “no-rule=no-do” phenomenon – the “No U-Turn Syndrome” or NUTS.

Singapore has prospered under a rule-based system for many years. When we were at a lower level of development, we needed many multi-national companies to come to Singapore to invest. What these MNCs needed were a very reliable group of managers and workers who could follow exactly the rules set by corporate headquarters overseas. Since they did not want their overseas subsidiaries to innovate anything, they wanted us to stick closely to the rules, no funny deals, no crazy ideas. They were here to teach us, not to listen to ideas from us.
The efficiency and no-nonsense style of the Singapore government is well-known. It has brought us prosperity and a good life. A rule-based system is essential here too to get everybody to toe the line.
But the world has changed. And it is changing faster and faster. So fast that the rules that were set yesterday are no longer valid and cannot serve our new needs. It is not a matter of setting new rules to meet the new situation because by the time new rules are formulated, they would already be out of date. It is a matter of how to survive and prosper in environments where they are no rules.It is a matter of how to live with ambiguity. Things are no more black or white, things are in shades of gray. How do we deal with them?

What is NUTS? NUTS is when you want to do something and you seek the approval of a higher authority. When there is no rule saying that you can do such a thing, then the standard answer is NO. What is wrong with this? There is nothing wrong if we choose to be stuck in the old world of our own where nothing changes. To meet the challenge of the new world, to meet the challenge of rising to a knowledge-based economy, we have to innovate like mad. How can we innovate when we need to obey rules to innovate? Innovate means to create things out of nothing, it means moving into uncharted territories where there are no rules. How can you innovate when you have to get approval of somebody who looks at a rule-book first?

Such is the syndrome of NUTS. NUTS is everywhere in the society including schools, offices, hospitals, parks, factories and even in our homes. Yes, in Creative (Singapore) too. Here are some hilarious examples, they make you want to laugh and cry at the same time. I am sure you can tell me more.

NUTS #2-”Creative Resource”-needed approval?
When our corporate headquarters were completed in 1997, we needed to give it a name. The placeholder name was Creative Technology Centre. Made sense, but it was a boring name that everybody had. I wanted a special name, because we are “creative”. So the usual names like, “Creative Building, Plaza, Complex, House…” were suggested on the name list. I rejected all of them. Finally we came out with a very good name, “Creative Resource” – the source of all creativity – and everybody loved it.
But wait, before we could go ahead, we had to submit the building name for approval. What! I was shocked. I needed somebody else’s approval for the name of my own building. By some faceless committee that I did not even know existed. Imagine having the name of your baby being approved by somebody you do not know.

Hey, that is the regulation. OK, we submitted and no prize for guessing the right answer. The answer was NO. The reason given was that the name was not “Centre, Plaza, Building, Complex, House etc…” There was actually a list of approved names in the rulebook and we were only given the impression that we could name our own building. I nearly jumped through the roof when I heard the answer. It was a very typical case of NUTS. “Resource” was not in their rule book, hence the standard answer was NO. I was not going to give up on this right. So we fought back and wrote letters to appeal. Finally, after a long process, our name was approved. Whew!

NUTS #3 – Cannot sing Singapore songs!!
While we were preparing for the opening ceremony of Creative Resource, we wanted to have a lot of creative fun. We prepared a lot of performances by our own staff. We were very fortunate to have invited the Prime Minister, Mr Goh Chok Tong to grace the event. We wanted to show him the best creativity in us.
The opening fanfare idea was to have a big group of kids running into the building, singing a medley of Patriotic Singapore Songs. It was going to be very delightful. After the songs were arranged and recorded, at the last moment, someone in the team decided that we actually needed to seek approval from the authority because of copyright issues. The answer came back was of course a NO.
There was no rule to say that you could do a medley of Singapore songs. There was a rule that said we could sing the Singapore song in special celebratory occasions like ours, so this was allowed.
Our people started to panic, because there was no time to change the recordings. They sought my advice. They were thinking of canceling this delightful fanfare and disappointing the kids, from our Creative O child-care centre, who had practiced so hard for this event.
I asked them why they had thought of seeking approval for a private function especially when the answer could be a No. they were afraid that the TV stations were there filming and it might have constituted copyright infringement!

There were a few NUTS at work here. First it is my own staff who were NUTS, they were toeing the line so tightly that they felt the need to seek approval for a private function that was not controversial at all. I was sure that the PM would give his 100% endorsement. Then we had the NUTS at the approval side who looked at the rule book and said No.
I asked them to go ahead and just do it, even violating the rejection letter. Some of my NUTS staff must have freaked out. I told them I would bear the full responsibility. If I had to pay a $2000 fine, I would pay it. In the worst, worst case I might go to jail for it – that would be interesting too.
In fact, the PM in his impromptu part of his speech also said, to move forward, we would have to “just do it”. It was a timely message."

Philosophy's "Believe In Miracles" Workshop

Attend Philosophy's "Believe in Miracles" skincare workshop recently...this workshop is part of their re-launch campaign here...i used their products previously before they pulled out of sg...on first look, the many new products seemed pretty promising as compared to what was avail here previously...i was given the cleanser for answering a question...this cleanser is one of their best-sellers n currently out-of-stock at the Sephora counter...i pop by subsequently to pick up a skincare...the ingredients look promising n it has won Allure's award =)

Goodie bag from Philosophy

Overheard a bf telling a gf this while the gf was wondering what size of bikini top to buy:"if u r shy, y don't u just wear a proper swimsuit?" typical protective bf who's afraid of other guys looking at his gf in a bikini eh? ;p

I see baggage sales almost everywhere! Where can I dump my excess baggage? Don't take me literally though ;p

Wanna wish all the mothers here a happy mothers' day! N for the rest here, y not aim to make everyday happy mothers' day for ur mum instead of only today?

Are Men Threatened by Successful Women?

Saw this article on Diva (http://www.divaasia.com/article/7175)

"In Chinese folklore, girls born in Tiger years seem to be cursed. They bring bad luck upon themselves, to their families and even to their husbands' families.

I, as a "tiger girl", am a little bit offended by this. Though I don't believe the old sayings, I could not stop wondering why the Chinese ancestors had such hateful thoughts for tiger girls thousands of years ago.

Then, I read a theory about "surplus women", referring to those who were approaching their 30s.

In the theory, all men and women are classified into four categories: A, B, C and D from the elite class to the bottom class. And it works like this: A class men marry B class women, B class men stay with C class women, then C class men choose D class women.

In the end, A class women can either end up alone or go out with D class men. If they don't want to compromise themselves with D class men, they become "surplus women".

It turns out that the main reason "surplus women" become "surplus" is they are too successful.

If the theory is true, all the years of study and hard work may just put a lot of women on an express train to the hell.

I couldn't help wondering why men don't like A class women until my friend told me her recent experience of a blind date.

In the date, my well-educated, well-paid friend successfully scared the man away.

Looking at the brand-name logos all over my friend's body, the man only asked one question: "Do you think I'm good enough for you?"

Most of my circle of friends and acquaintances: ambitious, successful and talented women encounter the same problem.

They are equal, if not superior to, most of the men in their lives.

Facing the achievements made by those women, most men will assume that they have a very high standard for their partners and they must be picky.

The theory is just like the tale of tiger girls. Girls who are born in the year are believed to be fierce, wild and able to control everything - even their husbands.

It is high time that modern men realized successful women are still women."

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Interesting quote that i saw on facebook:
"Whatever u give a woman, she will make it greater. Give her sperm, she will give u a baby. Give her a house, she will give u a home. Give her groceries, she will give u a meal. Give her a smile n she will give u her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what she is given. So if u give her crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit..."
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A v.different kind of IPAD for the ladies ;p


Damn funny scene at a Call Center (Part 1)


Damn funny scene at a call center (Part 2)

True Love and Chemistry: Exploring Myth and Reality

The silly typo in that pic drives me nuts -.-"






Juz wanna share this damn good article sent to me by my fren Gunawan...it's a muz-read!!!

"True Love and Chemistry: Exploring Myth and Reality

By Toni Coleman, LCSW


When you think about the qualities found in a true "soul mate" relationship, what one word comes up most often on the top of your list?

Is it CHEMISTRY? Probably.

Just the mention of this term conjures up powerful feelings and images for anyone who has ever been in or seeking a love relationship. It is often described as a feeling that leaves you breathless, excited and weak in the knees. Palms sweat, the heart races and the body tingles with nervous anticipation.

It is believed by virtually everyone that true love cannot exist without chemistry. Therefore, the conclusion most would-be lovers come to is that if they experience these intense feelings towards someone, they have the basis for an ideal and lasting relationship.

Right? Maybe not. For this definition of chemistry is limited to one's physical response to another person. It lacks an entire dimension that resides in our values, beliefs, personalities and worldview.

In order to know you have the right connection with a potential (or existing) partner, it's important to have a basic knowledge of what real chemistry consists of, instead of embracing only the myths that surround it. This can be difficult to do. This intense, physical passion is the stuff that Oscar winning movies and best-selling books are made of. So, take a step back for a minute and see if you recognize yourself in the following.

Sarah is a thirty something, very attractive and successful, professional female. She has been in a relationship for over a year with a man who is unfaithful, disrespectful and incapable (unwilling) to make any commitment to her. Yet, when he makes late night "booty calls", forgets her birthday, or stands her up repeatedly - she remains available and willing, in spite of her general unhappiness and upset over their "relationship". Why? "I think I have mistaken great sex for love. I feel this intense chemistry and physical intimacy when we are having sex, even though he offers me nothing else. Over time, it has left me unhappy and feeling badly about myself."

John is an attractive, intelligent, 30 something male who owns his own successful business. He's dating a woman that he thinks he is in love with. He has knowledge that she has been out with other men. She cancels dates and is often critical and emotionally distant. She refuses to discuss commitment or taking the relationship to the next level. Yet, she turns to John for emotional, physical and financial help whenever she feels she needs it. Why does John continue to see her? "She's beautiful and the sex is great". We have such strong physical chemistry. It's almost like an addiction for me. My friends can't stand her and even I know she's not really a "keeper", but it's hard to walk away.

These vignettes are great examples of how physical chemistry can be mistaken for the real thing. The attraction on one level is strong, yet these are not relationships that have the right elements to grow into happy and satisfying partnerships.

So, what is missing?

Kahlil Gibran defines it as "spiritual affinity". It's the hidden element of chemistry. It's when two beings meet and connect on a deeper level. It can only be felt in the heart and soul. It's about friendship, respect, humor and the feelings of warmth and contentment that come when you are in his/her presence.

People often report finding one without the other. This is understandably a cause of great frustration and confusion about whom should we choose and why. In order to understand this better, it is helpful to know how and when each facet of chemistry occurs.

Physical attraction (or lust) generally begins during our first contact with someone. It can DEVELOP into something more over time, yet some pull is there from the beginning. The chemical that results from this attraction (and intensifies it) is phenyl ethylamine - or PEA. It is a naturally occurring substance in the brain. Essentially, it is a natural amphetamine. It stimulates us and increases both physical and emotional energy. The attraction causes us to produce more PEA, which results in those dizzying feelings associated with romantic love. Another substance that is released by PEA is dopamine. This chemical increases a desire to be physically close and intimately connected.

When these chemicals are being secreted in larger doses, they send signals from the brain to the other organs of the body. If you wonder why you or someone is attracted to the "wrong" person, it may be because you are high on the physical response to these substances, which overwhelm your ability to use your head and exercise "good judgment and common sense".

"Spiritual affinity" develops over time and repeated contact. When these feelings begin to emerge, the brain produces endorphins. These are more like morphine and result in an increased sense of calm that reduces anxiety and helps to build attachment. As relationships move into this phase they are characterized by more comfort, commitment and friendship.

Generally speaking, all "soul mate relationships" require at least some measure of each of these. The important thing to remember is that they come in stages, which is not to say that the physical attraction passes as one moves into a deeper connection. However, it changes. We cannot sustain those intense emotions as we travel down the road to commitment and a shared life. However, in healthy relationships those moments of intensity can and do occur for brief intervals at intermittent times.

Remember not to confuse great sex or deep friendship with romantic love. Instead, look for a measure of both of these in your feelings for another. For then you have the ingredients that lasting love is made from.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q. I am an attractive, professional and intelligent female. I see myself as someone who has good common sense and judgment. Yet, I have gotten myself into a relationship (of sorts) that is making me miserable. I have been seeing a guy for over a year. We have a fantastic sex life. We really connect and are in tune with each other this way. We also have fun together and seem to relate well on a number of levels. The problem? I have found out that he has been with two other women since we have been going out. I was under the impression that we are a couple and was shocked by this information, which came through a friend.

What do I do? I really like this guy and even have feelings of love. I know he cares about me, but has not wanted to discuss the issue, which has led us to an impasse. I don't understand why he feels the need to be with other women. I feel like a fool for not just dropping him and moving on. Any help with this would be appreciated.

A. His refusal to discuss it is a bad sign. I think you know this only too well. It appears that your impressions of how well you get along and relate to each other are accurate, at least on a certain level. You are very attracted to one another, etc. So, what's the problem? HIM.

There could be a number of possibilities that have to do with not only who he is, but also to his past experiences and views of commitment, etc. But the only issue that you need to focus on is his (apparent) inability to remain monogamous- at least with you. This is only a hunch, but there's a strong possibility here that he is one of those individuals who crave the feelings that come with the early and more physically exciting stage of attraction. This early time in a relationship brings that rush of adrenaline that causes the heart to race and produces a feeling of being "high".

Some people cheat on loving partners- whom they sometimes care deeply for- because of their addiction to those intense feelings. This is how some "good" marriages come apart or why some people report a lack of control over a behavior that they know is destructive to them and to those they love.

Regardless of why he does this- unless he sees this as a real problem that he wants to change- you have no control over his behavior. Therefore, you need to focus on your own physical and emotional well-being. Continuing an intimate relationship with him could be dangerous to your health and your self-esteem. I recommend that you take a break and give yourself some time. When you are ready to date someone new, you will know it. Until then, you can spend some time thinking about what you desire and need from a relationship and what you must have and won't tolerate from a future partner.

END NOTES

This issue was written to help you to have a clearer understanding of what REAL relationship chemistry is. When you have a good understanding of how you choose potential partners, it should help you to evaluate your choices better and make the right one for you. It is also helpful in understanding any problem you may be having in a present relationship."

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"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. ~ Richard Bach"

"Some men feel the need 2 love a thousand different women but a real man knows how 2 love one woman a thousand different ways - Chels L Rouqin"

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine

"Love the heart that hurts you, but never hurt the heart that loves you." ~ Vipin Sharma

"If you're looking out for love, you may never find it. If you choose to love first, it will be returned. For what you sow, you shall also reap."


Quote from Eric:
"After defining what you hope your future spouse will be like, do also consider what your future spouse hopes how you will be like. If you can, try to be the dream person for your dream person. For if not, one day when you find him or her, because we are not there yet, he or she may not want us. And golden chances slip away. We need time to build ourselves. Start now"

Saw the following quote on a fren's facebook:
"不是你邀请我进你的世界；是我当初自己闯进你的世界。我们到最后，还是来自不同的世界。"
which translates to somthg like ---> "i wasn't invited into ur world...i was the one who barged my way into ur world in the v.first place...but in the end, we come from different worlds..."
sounds sad ya...but how true for many cases...we r living in a practical society n it's not easy for ppl who come from different worlds to b together...

David tao new song...ur song...he sings abt coming from 2 different worlds...o.O


Regarding DT ;p


Another of david's new song...


check out all those cute bikini babes ;p


omg...i didn't realize that david was in town recently!!!gosh...i miz him again -.-


he was here late nov...n he's chatty as usual...gosh...i would hav q up for his autograph if i knew he was here...haiz -.-


a clearer version o.O

Loneliness Can Be Contagious

Read the following news article abt how loneliness can b contagious o.O" Come join us this Xmas eve n b part of our hip networking scene n get to know more new frenz n b lonely no more! =)

"Loneliness Can Be Contagious

WASHINGTON : It only takes one individual in a group to begin to feel lonely for the feeling to spread to others, a US study said Tuesday.

After tracking over 5,100 people and their social contacts over 10 years, researchers found that loneliness can be contagious and that lonely, disconnected people tend to move to the fringes of social networks.

"On the periphery, people have fewer friends, yet their loneliness leads them to losing the few ties they have left," said University of Chicago psychologist John Cacioppo, the study's lead author.

Before lonely people sever relationships, they transmit loneliness to their friends who then also become lonely, according to the federally-funded study published in the December issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

"These reinforcing effects mean that our social fabric can fray at the edges, like a yarn that comes loose at the end of a crocheted sweater," explained Cacioppo, who was joined by University of California, San Diego and Harvard Medical School researchers.

Researchers stayed in touch with the subjects every two to four years.

Using the participants' friendship histories and information about their reported loneliness, the study uncovered a pattern of loneliness showing that lonely people "infected" those around them with the negative emotion and that lonely people moved to the edges of social networks.

The next-door neighbours of lonely people who experienced an additional day of loneliness a week caused their own neighbours and close friends to feel lonely, a pattern that escalated as the neighbours shared less time together.

The study, funded by the National Institute on Aging, also found that women were more likely to "catch" loneliness from others, in line with previous work suggesting that women rely more on emotional support than men.

As with groups of monkeys, societies tend to drive away lonely members, according to Cacioppo. Research has shown that the more people are lonely, the less they trust others, which hampers their ability to form friendships.

"Society may benefit by aggressively targeting the people in the periphery to help repair their social networks and to create a protective barrier against loneliness that can keep the whole network from unraveling," said Cacioppo. "

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"I know people who have a lot of money and they get testimonial dinners and hospital wings named after them. But the truth is that nobody in the world loves them. When you get to my age, you'll measure your success in life by how many of the people you want to have love you actually do love you. That's the ultimate test of how you’ve lived your life!” ~ Warren Buffet

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Response from facebook fren to this blog entry:
"Hi Tono, I love reading your messages and your blog. You are funny and have a great personality - No one should be lonely- Especially at this time of year. It's really up to all of us not to let that happen to anyone."
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Saw this line somewhere n copied it...v.applicable...
"幸福是靠自己去爭取的~不管是友情或愛情~~錯過了就沒有了..." but "有些事情你现在不必问,有些人你永远不必等..." haiz -.-"

Dear Hero...Who r the heroes in ur life? =)


Facebook addicts beware ;p


Ponder before u send out ur smses o.O”